Best Funny Quotes On Life

by on December 24, 2011

Here are some of the best funny quotes on life.

Life is good. Comfortable life is even better. – Russian movie “Prisoner of Caucasus”

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. – Oscar Wilde

Life’s more amusing than we thought. — Andrew Lang

Our life is a reasonably high-quality fiddle with a poorly written 3rd section.

Life is so simple it depends on how take the things whether in an easier way or in a Complicated way. That is life. — Unknown

Life is better with scotch.

Why do they put the Gideon Bibles only in the bedrooms, where it’s usually too late, and not in the barroom downstairs? – Christopher Morley, Contribution to a Contribution

In God we trust; all others must pay cash.

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink. — Shunryu Suzuki

To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim

Superior people never make long visits.

Love will be impaired. Camaraderie endeavors never to observe. – Private

You could memorize millions of facts and still be uneducated. – A. Bourne

What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset. – Crowfoot

Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told, ‘I am with you kid Let’s go!’ – Maya Angelou

Shin:  a device for finding furniture in the dark. – Unknown

Just as a tree without roots is dead, a people without history or culture also becomes a dead people. – Malcolm X

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. — Truman Capote

In very rare cases a man is able to live for some ideal, though many are willing to die for it. – H. Hese

There are men whom you will never dislodge from an opinion, except by taking possession of it yourself.- Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

When I expire, I desire to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep.

I felt more than ever the necessity of my mission. But I went home out of spirits, I hardly know why. I must work by myself all life long. – Elizabeth Blackwell

Lying to yourself is the worst of all. This way the one who lies always stays near the one who is deceived. – Plato

Life is like an attractive tune, only the lyrics are messed up. …

Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink.

There’s no half-singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.”

A happy life consists in tranquillity of mind. – Cicero

Don’t sacrifice your life to work and ideals.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

When in doubt tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends.

Good close friends, excellent guides plus a drowsy conscience: here is the best living. – Indicate Twain

Parents learn a lot from their children about coping with life. – Muriel Spark

A number of citizens are alive just since it truly is prohibited to murder them.

I came into this world black, naked and ugly. And no matter how much I accumulate here, it’s a short journey.

Give myself a single good friend, just one single, which satisfies the wants of most my own various moods. – Esther Meters. Clark

History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it. – Sir Winston Churchill

If you would like to add your best funny quotes on life please post them.

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Emma January 25, 2012 at 9:48 pm

The quote by Cicero is striking to me: “A happy life consists in tranquility of mind.” I think I still have a long way to go before I will be able to reach such state. Right now, there are a lot of things going in my mind that need to be settled.

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Lydia January 31, 2012 at 1:31 am

I love Sir Winston Churchill’s quote “History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it”. He certainly did help to right history during the Second World War. If only we could each say, we had helped to write history. In addition, if only the history we wrote was kind and understanding.

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Yonall January 31, 2012 at 11:03 am

I don’t have any best funny quotes, but I do like the one you posted up: “Why do they put the Gideon Bibles only in the bedrooms, where it’s usually too late, and not in the barroom downstairs? – Christopher Morley, Contribution to a Contribution.” That is so true! The bar is exactly where it should be. Better there than the bedroom when it’s way too late and you’re too drunk to read.

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ToBeOrNotToBe April 14, 2012 at 3:22 pm

I think Shunryu Suzuki’s take on life is depressing and pessimistic. While you won’t make it out alive, life can be a beautiful Caribbean cruise rather than a trip on the Titanic if you board the right ship.

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ToBeOrNotToBe April 17, 2012 at 6:28 pm

I also agree with the anonymous quote about superior people never making long visits. People who truly contribute to this world are rare; most of us are ordinary and will be forgotten.

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Love2read May 13, 2012 at 3:02 am

You have to love the “Shin- a device for finding furniture in the dark”. I need to re-write that one though since it is not usually my shins taking a beating. I prefer to find furniture in the dark with my big toe!

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