Funny Life Lesson Quotes And Sayings

by on December 24, 2011

Here are some funny life lesson quotes and sayings.

In the game of life, it’s a good idea to have a few early losses,

To me, life is like the back nine in golf. Sometimes you play better on the back nine. You may not be stronger, but hopefully you’re wiser. And if you keep most of your marbles intact, you can add a note of wisdom to the coming generation. —Clint Eastwood

Life is just one damned thing after another. – Elbert Hubbard

Marriage will be a kind of camaraderie recognized by the authorities. – Private

Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese. – Billie Burke

Seven pleasures of life: to love, to make love, to piss, to poo, to eat, to drink and to sleep. And it will never be any different. – unknown

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.”

After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, ‘Maybe life isn’t for everyone.

The road to success is always under construction.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. – Herm Albright

In spite of the cost of living, it’s still popular. – Kathy Norris

The ornaments of your house will be the guests who frequent it.

Life is too important to be taken seriously. – Oscar Wilde

It’s been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt, and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle fell off. Now I am afraid to go to the bathroom. – Rodney Dangerfield

I don’t get it as i feel life is not a joke – is it?

I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

There will be prayer in schools as long as there are tests.

You owe it to yourself to be the best you can possibly be – in baseball and in life. – Pete Rose

Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still. – Lou Erickso

You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.

Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life. – Leo Buscaglia

Life is just a series of trying to make up your mind. – Timothy Fuller

He who has the gold, makes the rules —- Murphy’s golden rule.

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”

If you would like to add your favourite funny life lesson quotes and sayings please post them.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

fruity February 25, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Some of these are great! I love seeing the one from Rodney Dangerfield. I’ve always thought he was a riot while at the same time, his jokes have a lot of truth in them. I’m saving that one for sure.

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Withers February 27, 2012 at 5:00 pm

I love these quotes and have printed off a number of them to use in my class with my students. They like to use them as starting points when they don’t like the other topics I give them to write on. These really come in handy.

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Cordiality March 19, 2012 at 7:36 pm

I really needed my healthy dose of daily laughter this afternoon after a rather stressful weekend. Thanks for pulling all these quotes together to make me laugh and smile.

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ToBeOrNotToBe April 12, 2012 at 4:49 pm

I concur with Leo Buscaglia that leading a life with love is one of the most important elements. You’re never truly successful unless you’ve formed meaningful relationships in your life.

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