Here are some of the best funny short life quotes.
Life is just a phase you’re going through…you’ll get over it.
It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.
The right for respect is earned only by those who respect others. – Suchomlinsky
Deliver me from writers who say the way they live doesn’t matter. I’m not sure a bad person can write a good book. If art doesn’t make us better, then what on earth is it for. – Alice Walker
Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first. —- Benjamin Franklin
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. – anonymous
I’ve been doing some research — in real life there is no algebra. – Audrey, Twin Peaks
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. – Dave Barry
You know, it’s a long world.
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
When life gives you lemons, you’d better wait for it to give you some sugar first or else you’ll have some really nasty-tasting lemonade.
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say “I WANT TO SEE THE MANAGER.”
No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.
Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t — Richard Bach
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
My father carries about the picture of the child who came with his wallet.
Everyone has a scheme of getting rich, Which never works.
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
Life is like a game of poker: If you don’t put any in the pot, there won’t be any to take out. – Moms Mabley
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. – Oscar Wilde
You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. – Al Capone
He’s so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it. – Jack Handey
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. – Bob Hope
People who snore always fall asleep first. – Unknown
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
The quote that caught my attention is this: “Life is like a game of poker: If you don’t put any in the pot, there won’t be any to take out.” I believe that in life you have to take risks and make sacrifices in order to achieve something bigger and better. Playing it safe may be comfortable, but you could actually lose a lot because of your fear to take on new challenges.
These are so true in many cases. People that do snore do fall asleep first – why is that? “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much” I like this one too. I have always said smile at the people who hate you, it will kill them to smile and be nice back.
I love the one by Moms Mabley, whom I had forgotten all about. Her remark applies perfectly to our current economy. Everyone wants to take out of the pot, but no one wants to put anything in.
I like this one: “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. – Oscar Wilde” I agree that the best way to get back on your enemies is to act as if you were not affected by whatever wrong they did to you
Of course it also helps if you just actually forget the incident happened and just move on. It’s never good to hold grudges after all, it really pulls you down.
The line about being so lazy that a person would sleep on the floor if the bed involved work is so true. How often do we try to get out of things that are uncomfortable in the short term that will actually make our lives easier in the long run?
These are ALL funny! I love the one about middle age being when your age shows around your middle, and I know a couple of people that one applies to. The one about animal testing made me laugh out loud. These are great!