Here are some good funny life quotes.
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. — Mark Twain
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.” – Abraham Lincoln
The 50- 50- 90 rule: Anytime you have a 50- 50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong. — Andy Rooney
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
A man is most comical when he thinks of himself in an excessively serious – minded manner. – Og Mandino
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Each of the skill of living is present in a great joining of exit and longing.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still. — Lou Erickso
The worst sickness is getting attached to one’s sickness. – Seneca
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then figure out how to sell it for $5.00 a glass. – John Woodman
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
The goal of life is living in agreement with nature. – Zeno
Life is full of sadness, isolation, pain and it’s all over much too shortly.
Life is full of disappointments, and I’m full of life!
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. — George Carlin
Desire is half of life, indifference is half of death. – Kahlil Gibran
Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. — Mark Twain
Love absolutely everything that ever happens in your life – Paul Cantalupo, MD
The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
If life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut!
You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
There must be more to life than having everything. – Maurice Sendak
If it were not for guests all houses would be graves.
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
“The 50- 50- 90 rule: Anytime you have a 50- 50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.”
Priceless commentary from Andy Rooney, as usual. That man was so down-to-earth, yet so wise. He may have put things in a humorous way, but there was wisdom in much of what he said. I’d love to see a page of nothing but Andy Rooney quotes.
“The 50- 50- 90 rule: Anytime you have a 50- 50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.”
This one is perfect and so true. I swear when it’s an easy 50-50 problem I normally get it wrong. I do love these quotes though.
“If life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut!”
I also love this one. Ouch! Can you imagine getting lemon juice in a papercut.
“You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.” ” My grandpa used to say this all the time. I thought it was pretty good. He also used to say, trick me once, shame on you, trick me twice shame on me. I love all of these old funny sayings.
I guess some of the quotes aren’t funny yet they’re good. The quote that stands out for me is: “Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.” I had a chuckle when I saw this quote. I guess it does make sense to a certain extent. =)
I disagree with Paul Cantalupo about having to love everything that happens in your life. You don’t have to love everything – just don’t hate anything.
I love the John Woodman quote about getting your bad times to work for you. Even when things go wrong or seem horribly amiss, you can always make the best of the situation.
I have never heard the Andy Rooney quote about the 50-50-90 rule before, but there is definitely some truth to that! If you have a 50/50 chance of choosing the right answer I have an excellent record of picking the wrong one!