Here are some of the best short funny life quotes.
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police. – Jeff Marder
When a couple meets in one room, they hardly tell rosary to each other. – J. T. Vaizgantas
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on. – Groucho Marx
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of Spam. – Johnny Carson
Life is all about ass; you’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, or behaving like one.
If you have paper, you don’t have a pen. If you have a pen, you don’t have paper. If you have both, no one calls.
Life is worth so much more than just gold.
I guess the most important thing in life is not to hurt anyone and comfort the downcast. – O. Shreiner
When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time. – Unknown
In no way examine the depth of our water each of feet.
Robert Heinlein
Life is painful, nasty and short… in my case it has only been painful and nasty.
The best way to predict the future is to make one. – A. Kay
Life is a deadly disease for a lifetime. – unknown
Death is a once in a lifetime experience.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
How could there be any question of acquiring or possessing, when the one thing needful for a man is to become — to be at last, and to die in the fullness of his being. – Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Life is short and so is money. – Bertolt Brecht
Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
I find I always have to write something on a steamed mirror. – Elaine Dundy
Happiness is a skill to feel completely satisfied. – I. Bergman
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
You re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while being paid shot.
If you would like to add your favourite short funny life quotes please post them.
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
That Groucho Marx quote is funny, but it is really more profound. It is a good think to remember, too. Even the hardest times will pass; life goes on.
I like this one, because I find it to be true, not just for planes, but for coaches too. “When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time. – Unknown.” Frustrating when that happens, especially because it means you have to wait ages for the next one.
“Life is all about ass; you’re either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, or behaving like one.” Ha Ha! Too funny… but so true! I feel like I am constantly having to cover mine (at work, when dealing with kids sports, etc). I know many people who are always acting like it too.
I have an addition to the quote about ass: sitting on it! It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re lazy, it’s just we can’t be in motion 24/7.
I also want to note that I don’t think insurance is like marriage, because if you’re in a happy one, marriage actually does have benefits.